Stay in the sun when the sunshine is gone, and you will find that the sunshine lives within you.
Grief is the normal and natural reaction to loss of any kind. Therefore, the feelings you have are normal and natural for you (Grief recovery handbook).
Sadly, we have been socialised to believe these feeling are abnormal and unnatural, we are often ill prepared to deal with loss.
Grief is conflicting feelings caused by the end of, or change in a familiar pattern of behaviour, even when it is our choice.
There are no absolutes in grief.
There are no reactions universal to all.
We believe all relationships are unique and individual, as are responses to losses.
Grief Recovery Method information
There are over 40 losses in life that evoke feelings of grief. The Grief Recovery Method is an educational programme for moving beyond all losses.
The course involves a commitment from you to attend 8 sessions, complete necessary ‘heart-work’ from home, maintain complete confidentiality regarding what is discussed in the group, and come with an open mind.
The Grief Recovery Method (GRM) is not counselling, therapy or alternative treatment. Instead it’s an action plan for taking small steps to recovery, whatever your loss.
Finding a new meaning for living, without constant feeling you may be hurt again
Being able to enjoy fond memories, without having them cause feelings of pain, remorse, or regret
Realising that SAD is OK, and NORMAL!
Talking about feelings no matter how others may react
Most importantly, Recovery is gaining skills that allow you to deal with loss directly
Grief recovery method format
Free for those bereaved by suicide.
Aims to help work through unresolved grief and conflicting emotions that are linked to individual loss
Delivered over 8 weeks
Offers specific actions needed to move beyond loss
Unresolved grief can leave you feeling physically and emotionally unwell. Exhibiting signs of headaches, panic attacks, IBS, infections, depression and in the worst cases suicide.
Incomplete recovery from grief can have a lifelong negative effect on the capacity for happiness.
It is possible to regain energy and wellbeing following loss.
Please contact Bekki @ sunflowers 🌻
ADULT GROUP COURSES
We offer this course to individuals over the age of 18
As a charity we believe that everyone should have access to support irrespective of financial situation and we therefore aim to offer places on this course to those bereaved by suicide free of charge. This still incurs a cost to us, so we are always looking into fundraising and funding options to support this.
Currently, we are able to offer the course FREE OF CHARGE to any person who is currently living in Gloucestershire who has been bereaved by suicide.
If you live outside our area, you are welcome to travel to attend the course; there will unfortunately be a fee charged to attend.
The course is delivered over 8 weeks within a group setting. You would be expected to attend once per week for two hours and will work closely together building positive relationships. We really believe that ‘peer’ support is hugely beneficial to feel supported through your grief. There are also weekly tasks to complete at home in your own time
To book on to the course you will need to get in touch and complete a booking form.
Would you like to know more? Why not come along to our next Open Evening to see if you feel you would like to attend?
Starting 12th April 2021
HELPING CHILDREN WITH LOSS
We also deliver the course for professionals/parents on helping children deal with loss.
It is a delivered as a 6-week course. Adults attending are encouraged to look a little at loss and how it has affected them to enable them to relate to children effectively.
It teaches helpful things to say, and what not to say. It encourages parents/professionals to keep energies flowing, so that children in group settings/alone can emotionally deal with losses. It teaches children to connect to their behaviour in an emotional way, encouraging emotional resilience. We cannot force talking, but by going first, and being a ‘heart with ears’ you are showing children that it is ok to talk about our feelings. We teach children, you cannot always control what happens to you, but you can manage your response. We aim to adapt the skills that parents, and professionals already have.
Children and teenagers in schools encounter so many losses; leaving parents, friendships, moving to a new house, moving schools, moving countries, foresting, adoption, divorce, extended families, ill health, difficulty with studying, exam pressure, and so much more. We want to support adults in helping children deal with loss. We believe that teaching emotional resilience will ensure children/teens flourish in their settings.
At Sunflowers we offer this programme to professionals and to parents.
There is currently a charge per delegate, however group bookings can be made at a reduced fee. For more information or a personalised quote, please contact us.
We would be happy to send information on the evaluations from the most recent course.
MY PERSONAL GRM EXPERIENCE by Yvonne Tester
In my opinion, the grief recovery method is an invaluable tool for aiding people struggling with loss.
Just to give a bit of the background of the method:
John James is the founder of the Grief Recovery Institute and the creator of the original principles and actions of the Grief Recovery Method. ‘He created a series of actions which he found helped him to cope with the emotional roller-coaster he was on after the death of his baby son in 1977. He discovered that there was no help available to support people suffering a crippling loss such as he had experienced’.
Through trial and error John compiled a method that enabled him to feel ‘emotionally complete with his son who had died’ His method was so successful that he went on to help others. He self-published the first edition of the Grief Recovery Handbook in 1986, Russel Friedman joined him in 1987 as a volunteer having suffered his own losses. To quote John James “Russell came up to the office one day twenty-seven years ago, and he hasn’t left yet. So, we became partners, co-authors, and friends”. (The Grief Recovery Handbook. John W. James, Russell Friedman and Cole James 1992)
My experience of the Grief Recovery Method was more recent, though the loss I was struggling to come to terms with happened 18 years previously.
I went on the course offered by Sunflowers Suicide Support to attempt to deal with the loss of my brother to suicide. One of the first things that the trainer said was that total honesty was important. While I never lied, I found it very hard to reveal the entire truth about my brother who had died in prison. I knew several members of the group and was ashamed to talk about the incidents that had led to his death. I followed the process and felt a great sense of relief on completion of the course. I was totally sold on the method and could see the many ways in which it could help others. As a result, I volunteered to train to deliver the GRM to others.
I went through an intense 4-day training course in February 2020. A series of events led to me revisiting the loss of my brother, though that had not been my original intention, like everybody else, I have suffered several losses throughout my life which I had intended to share. Similarly, events caused me to ask if I could share my experience with the group rather than the person that I was partnered up with.
Initially I intended to share the same story that I had in the first group, but while the trainer was introducing my contribution I decided that, as I would probably never come across these people again, I would tell the whole story. I insisted that I would be fine as I had read it before, and I really thought I would be. Until I started speaking, I had no idea of what I was about to say. The experience was phenomenal! I shared the intense feelings of shame surrounding my brother’s death for the first time in almost 20 years. I sobbed, the group wept, even the trainer cried. I know it is a cliché to say that I felt as though a weight had been lifted, but I can think of no other adequate description.
I have still lost my brother, I still love him and miss him, but the intense grief I was living with has lifted. The effect of my experience is still developing.