Stay in the sun when the sunshine is gone, and you will find that the sunshine lives within you.

SUNFLOWERS BLOG

 

My mental Health Battle (it's like going to war ... on yourself) by Lyns

 

As we are in the middle of Mental Health Week, I thought I would share a little about my own story and what makes me tick; or not as is sometimes the case!

 

Things came to a massive head in 2019. My Step-Dad, Father-in-Law & Dad had all died within a couple of years of each other, from the same horrific type of Cancer and I had been present when all of them passed. In July of that year, we spread my Dads ashes and then, walking away from the Memorial Garden, I had the fall that has changed my whole life. I won’t go into the details of that, mainly because I can’t remember much but also because I have rightly or wrongly, put the emotions of the early days of my recovery into a little box and filed it somewhere safe for another day.

 

My Anxiety & Depression continued to spiral until my head exploded. It didn’t explode in the literal sense, but that is the only word I can find to explain how it felt. I have gone through every emotion you can think of; along with the self-loathing, things will never get better, feelings that then consume every single part of your day and night.

 

Christmas Day 2020, I saw a post on Facebook advertising a Charity challenge to run 50 miles in January, in support of Maggie’s in Cheltenham; and then, like Forrest Gump, I just kept on running.

 

Running frees me, it distracts me and it releases those all-important happy chemicals in your brain, the runners high!

 

I now support a different charity every month, that in itself gives you a sense of worth, and do a mixture of Running, Walking, Rowing & time on the Cross Trainer to get my miles in, usually between 60 & 100 a month.

 

Earlier this year, I joined Sunflowers as a Volunteer and continue to make progress with my Mental Health, it’s still very hard but I now just head towards the Sunshine.